serenemaklong.blogspot.com
LIVING with a sick relative, especially one who has psychiatric
problems, is not easy. Not when time, care and funds needs to be allocated to
provide for their emotional and medical needs.
Although the difficulties are real, never let it interfere with your
happiness and career. You will need someone to talk to, someone who
understands, and someone who will take over your responsibilities. Look
around for support groups.
Assumptions
If we look closely, most families of the mentally ill still feel ashamed
and stigmatised. However, their suffering is not due to having to treat the
patient, but due to the community assumption that mental illness is caused by
black magic. Some even think that these are retributions of for families’
bad actions in the past. Faced with such a crowd, families are often left with
no choice but to remain silent.
Families of the mentally ill need support and guidance in many ways,
including support in identifying the disease early and seeking treatment for
the mentally ill.It is also important for them to be patient in making sure
that the mentally ill continue their medication, he noted.
Support can also come in the form of support groups where families come
together and discuss the problems they may encounter in managing their mentally
ill relatives.
When families come together, they will gain support from each other, as
they themselves understand better the challenges they face, explained Prof
Mohammad Hussain Habil, President of the Malaysian Psychiatric
Association.
When a member of *Hana’s (not real name) family was diagnosed with
mental illness, she had her share of denial, anger and guilt; but her strength
and faith in God has led her to accept and treasure her life; choosing not to
view her family member’s illness negatively, but as a blessing in
disguise.
Some families feel shy and ashamed that their family member is mentally
ill; some may even feel guilty. But it is OK to feel that way. Everyone has to
grieve. But do get out of the denial stage fast! Because the quicker we get out
of denial, the quicker we take action – to heal ourselves and our sick
relatives.
While living with family members that are mentally ill may be traumatic
to some, Hana has not only proven by personal experience that these
difficulties could be overcome, she now teaches other family members how to
deal with those difficulties as well.
A family support group helps. When you meet other family members, you
realise that it is not that bad as you are not the only person facing this
problem.
For Poh Kim Pheng, family support groups couldn’t be closer to her
heart. After bringing up two children who are affected by mental illness, she
is now the Honorary Secretary-General of the Malaysian Mental Health
Association (MMHA) based in Petaling Jaya.
Now, Poh volunteers at various workshops and education programmes to
help other family members deal with the challenges of living with loved ones
who have mental illness.
Family support groups encourage open discussion among family members
about mental illnesses. It is good for family members to understand the
symptoms of mental illnesses, what is happening to their family members, and
why they act the way they do.
Support network
For consultant psychiatrist Dr Abdul Kadir Abu Bakar, family support
groups are not just places to discuss problems. It is a forum to get
together, learn new things, share problems, plan activities and raise
funds.
As one of the founders of MINDA Malaysia (Movement for the Incorporation
of New Development & Actions in Mental Health), an umbrella body formed in
2006 by family support groups all over Malaysia, Dr Abdul Kadir hopes that by
coming together, MINDA can help educate other families, volunteers, and the
public about mental illness.
MINDA Malaysia train all families of the mentally ill, but for the time
being, it include discussions on
schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.
Dr. Kadir’s survey five years ago showed that apart from wanting to know
about mental illness and the treatments, family members of the mentally ill
want long-term care for their loved ones.
More importantly, they want their mentally ill relative to be able to
carry on after they can no longer care for them.
Families remain the main caregivers in all countries. The families’ main
concern is to make sure that the patients continue to receive care when the
families have gone. They want to focus on work opportunities and housing for
the mentally ill.
MINDA Malaysia is aimed at bringing families of the mentally ill
together in Malaysia.
It wants to promote better mental health systems and better care: a service
that promotes delivery and combat discrimination.
It also want to create a healthy environment for the mentally ill in Malaysia
and educate families in the Family Link Education Programme (FLP), to have
adequate and appropriate housing for the mentally ill, advocate for their
rights and to promote evidence based rehabilitation.
Dr Kadir said, currently, there are at least one family support group
per state in Malaysia.
The local family support groups meet monthly and they are also contact each
other regularly by phone.
The Family Link Education Programme contains eight modules of training
to help family members of the mentally ill deal with the challenges in mental
illnesses.
Taught mostly by family members of the mentally ill, the modules of
training include understanding the mentally ill and mental illness,
medications, brain biology, self-care for carers, communication skills, problem
solving skills, recovery, rehabilitation and advocacy for the mentally
ill.
Apart from providing support to members of the group, family support
groups should also extend their knowledge about mental illness to the community
to eradicate stigma and discrimination, Prof Hussain added.
Mutual support
There is nothing like having a shoulder to cry on in times of
trouble. Hana cites an example of other family members taking over the care of
one’s sick relative for short periods of time while one is away.
Having a family member as a teacher in the Family Link Education
Programme enables him/her to have more empathy and understanding in explaining
the issues involved, said Hana, who now teaches some of the modules in the
programme to other family members.
Somehow, having experience makes what you are teaching more real. You
can really tell people that this is what you have experienced, and this is how
you handle it.
However, as each individual will have different experiences, Hana draws
from her own experiences to provide real life advice to family members. For her, dealing with her relative’s sickness not only gave her family
strength, it caused her to mature and know how to handle crises in life.
Balancing needs
In the process of giving care, families must sometimes remind themselves
that they indeed have lives of their own and need to lead them as normally as
possible.
Although attending to the needs of an ill relative is very important,
self-care is very important for families with mentally ill members. Family members have to understand that taking care of an ill relative is
a shared responsibility. On the other hand, one should not neglect other family
members who are not ill.
Most importantly, family members should take time off now and then to
heal themselves. You may need to meet with other friends, do whatever you
need to do, and enjoy your life. If it is going to happen for a long time,
you must take care of yourself to keep on going.
For family members, the ultimate joy would be to see their loved ones
overcome their mental illness, working and live a life like anybody else.
There is hope no matter how long your loved ones have been suffering from the
illness. Do not give up.
To find
out more about family support groups in your area, MINDA Malaysia, and the
Family Link Education Programme, visit the Malaysian Mental Health Association
(MMHA) website: www.mentalhealth.org.my,
or the Malaysian Psychiatric Association website: www.psychiatry-malaysia.org.
No comments:
Post a Comment